Q: Why do I sometimes cry during sex? I do not feel pain at all. However, on more than a few occasions while being intimate with my partner, the pleasure will suddenly cause me to burst into tears without warning. Of course it ruins the mood as I cannot stop myself from uncontrollably crying for about 5 minutes straight. I do not feel sad at all though. When he asks me what is wrong or what happened I have no answers.
For clarification, we always communicate and it is not a consistent problem. It is rare and when it happens we are not doing anything unusual. I am also not going through any stress that would bring on a crying fit at the time either. It seems as if it is completely random and unprovoked.
A: Having the occasional cry during sex is actually not that unusual. Even when we aren't particularly stressed or depressed, we can often be carrying around some pent up emotions. Sex, especially when it's particularly good, can cause a big release of emotions. Sometimes people cry, sometimes they burst into laughter, but it's all about a big release of emotion. This is partly because sex releases a lot of neurochemicals that are related with emotions, such as dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. Sometimes, simply the release of these chemicals can cause a strong emotional reaction that can seem to come out of nowhere. There's certainly nothing wrong with you or your partner. In fact, it may just mean that you're having some great, mind-blowing sex! :)
If and when this happens in the future, let your partner know that this just happens sometimes and that it's nothing to worry about. It just means you're having a really intense sexual experience. It may be a bit awkward to continue having sex if you're crying, but some couples do so and enjoy it. It can make for a unique and heart-felt sexual experience if you and your partner are up for it. As long as your partner knows that he isn't doing anything wrong and that you're not actually upset, I don't think it'll be a major problem for you two.
Answers provided by Dr. Ross Avilla
Dr. Ross Avilla has been teaching Human Sexuality since 2013 and has a PhD in psychology from UC Davis. Dr. Avilla is not a clinician and all information and advice offered on this website is for educational purposes only.