Advice for sexual assault survivors?

Q: What advice do you give both male and female sexual assault survivors who want to have a normal sex life afterwards?

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A: It's difficult to give advice that would be helpful to anyone who has suffered from sexual assault, because each sexual assault survivor is different and will respond differently to this trauma.  But, I'll try to give some general advice.

First off, sexual assault survivors should know that they are not alone.  Unfortunately, sexual assault is quite common in the U.S. (and around the world).  The U.S. Dept. of Justice estimates that almost 1 in 5 women will be the victim of sexual assault at some point in their lifetimes.  Even this is likely an underestimation, given that only around 30% of sexual assaults are ever reported to authorities.

Thankfully, there are many support services for people who have suffered sexual assault.  For example, the National Sexual Assault Hotline can offer emotional support and put survivors in touch with local services that can help them.  There is also the National Sexual Violence Resource Center and the National Child Abuse Hotline .  It's often most helpful for survivors to obtain private counseling from a trained therapist.  Thankfully, UC Merced offers free counseling to all students.  You can check out counseling.ucmerced.edu for more information about that.

I would strongly urge any sexual assault survivor to take advantage of these services.  A major predictor of overcoming trauma is to get help and social/emotional support as soon as possible.  It's crucial that survivors reach out and talk to professionals and trusted loved ones about what has happened to them.  This is the first and often most important step in the healing process.

Beyond that, it's important to develop healthy sexual relationships that are based in trust and emotional support.  Surviving sexual assault is something that people need to be able to talk about with their future sexual partners.  This can be uncomfortable at times, but it's crucial in developing enjoyable and satisfying sexual relationships.  By taking things slow and building up trust in romantic relationships over time, most survivors find that they can develop enjoyable and satisfying sexual relationships after suffering sexual assault.  

For more information and helpful resources...

• Here is helpful information on what can be done after suffering sexaul assault
• A lot of other helpful information can be obtained from the National Sexual Violence Resource Center
• Legal help for sexual assault survivors can be obtained from the Victim Rights Law Center