Q: Is there any way I can add girth to my penis?
A: The average penis is about 1.5 inches in diameter (about the width of 2 fingers) and this is perfectly satisfying to the vast majority of women. In anonymous surveys, only 14% of women say they wish their sex partner had a bigger penis. So, before you worry about increasing your girth, you may want to make sure this is something your sex partner actually wants.
If it is, then the best way to add girth to your penis is to use a penis sleeve sex toy (Warning: Link NSFW). These penis enhancers slip overtop the penis, increasing its girth and/or length. They can also come with vibrating tips or bases for extra stimulation. While the penis sleeve covers the penis during sex, they are designed to also be stimulating for the man who is wearing it. The sleeve allows the penis to slide in and out of it, much like a "pocket pussy", and is supposed to have the feel of a real vagina.
Currently, there are no pills or safe surgical methods for enlarging a man's penis (no matter what claims you find in your spam folder). So, the penis sleeve is the most safe and effective way to add some extra size your penis.
Q: I'm getting a sex toy soon, but I live in the dorms. Where/how can I clean it?
A: Obviously, the easiest way to clean sex toys is with soap and water, but I'm guessing you don't want to carry your sex toy down the dorm hallway to the shared bathrooms. Thankfully, there are inexpensive cleaners you can use just for this purpose. They are disinfectant sprays and wipes that are made in a way so that they won't degrade the plastic or silicone. However, if you have a vibrator that is made of metal or a tough plastic, you can just use anti-bacterial cleaning wipes, which you can get at any store. Just don't get ones that are soaked in bleach, because that could irritate your genitals if you use it soon after it's wiped down.
You can buy sex toy cleaners on Lovehoney.com here or on Amazon here.
Q: Do male vibrators work? Are there any tips to buying and using one? Also do vibrators work for everyone?
A: Male vibrators work just like vibrators for women, except that they're designed more for anal insertion. So, they're typically a bit smaller and may be shaped a bit different (as you can see in the picture to the left). Most vibrators for men are essentially "butt plugs" or "anal dildos" that also vibrate. But men can just as easily use vibrators designed for women and vice versa. Anal-play toys can be used by anyone with a butt!
Many men enjoy anal play and using vibrators, because men can access their prostate through the anus. The prostate is a small, walnut-sized bulb that is about an inch into the rectum. It can easily be felt with aroused by sticking a finger into the anus, pointing it toward the belly-button, and feeling against the rectal wall. It often feels like a slightly wrinkled and semi-rigid bulb that rises above of the smooth walls of the rectum. This organ gets engorged with blood and becomes increasingly sensitive when a man is aroused, just like the penis. Stimulating the prostate feels very pleasurable for most men (gay or straight) and many men can orgasm just from prostate stimulation alone (this is sometimes called "prostate milking"). Just remember to use plenty of lube, because the anus doesn't produce its own lubrication like the vagina does.
Q: So me and my boyfriend are in a long distance relationship and I want to buy him a sex toy that will please him. I don't want anything too expensive and I definitely don't want a blow up doll, lol. So overall, what is the best (and cheapest) sex toy for a man?
A: One of the less expensive but very popular sex toys for men are pocket vaginas (commonly known as “fleshlights”). This is a tool he can use to masturbate with that feels similar to a vagina. They also make ones that are more similar to the feel of a mouth.
You can find these just about anywhere online, but I’ve provided a link to some websites selling “Sex Toys for Men.” The only toys I wouldn’t recommend are penis pumps, which are dangerous and don’t increase penis size as advertised.
Q: Do vibrators have an effect on the clitoris and its sensitivity?
A: Research does show that using a vibrator regularly helps women achieve orgasms faster and more reliably, even when they’re not using a vibrator later on. This is because it helps to strengthen the neural connection between clitoral/vaginal stimulation and orgasm. It also helps to condition a person to associate vaginal stimulation with pleasure. Vibrators are often “proscribed” by sex therapists for women who have difficulty orgasming or enjoying sex.
For more information, check out the following sources:
Answers provided by Dr. Ross Avilla
Dr. Ross Avilla has been teaching Human Sexuality since 2013 and has a PhD in psychology from UC Davis. Dr. Avilla is not a clinician and all information and advice offered on this website is for educational purposes only.