Q: Why is it that when you orgasm, you feel better (i. e., when you're sick)?  How exactly does masturbation boosts the immune system? Is it just through masturbation, or orgasming in general?

A: Both masturbation and orgasm can help boost your immune system and make you feel better when you're sick.  For one, the act of masturbating temporarily elevates \ levels of feel-good hormones and neurotransmitters, such as dopamine (causes feelings of elation and generally improved mood) and noradrenaline (causes feelings of relaxation and reduces inflammation throughout the body).  After orgasming, the brain is then flooded with serotonin, which helps the body to relax and rejuvenate (sometimes driving the urge to sleep).  Regularly orgasming has also been shown to boost white T-cell counts, which help the body fight off diseases.  You can find a great video outlining these benefits here.

Of course, there are many other benefits of regular masturbation, such as generally improving mood, relieving stress and becoming more comfortable with one's body.  You can find an article discussing other benefits of masturbation here.

Q: ​I like masturbating but I don't like cleaning up the mess. Is there a masturbation technique for a man to achieve orgasm without ejaculating? Could a man achieve multiple orgasms without a refractory period?

A: There are a lot of guides online that claim to teach men how to orgasm without ejaculating (you can find some here, here, and here).  This is often seen as the key to allowing men to have multiple orgasms.  All of these guides claim that the way men can stop ejaculating is by clenching your pelvic floor muscles (in particular, the pubococcygeus, or PC muscles) while orgasming.   These muscles can effectively block the seminal track, so that semen doesn't escape during orgasm.  This can then allow a man to have an orgasm without ejaculating and maybe even have another orgasm quickly after.  However, to do this, you need to have built up very strong PC muscles.

A man (or woman) can build up their PC muscles by performing Kegel exercises.  This is where you clench the muscles you would normally use if you wanted to stop urinating suddenly.  You clench and hold these muscles for 5 - 10 seconds and then relax them.  You would then repeat this 10 times in a row, several times a day.  Kegel exercises are most commonly prescribed to women before and after childbirth, because it can help quicken delivery and the healing process afterward.

Using this technique to help men control their ejaculation hasn't been well tested scientifically.  It's likely that results will vary a lot between men.  Many men will likely be unable to inhibit their ejaculation, even if they frequently perform Kegel exercises.  For a man, it isn't natural to not ejaculate when having an orgasm, and it may even be unhealthy.  For example, some men have medical conditions where they cannot ejaculate when having an orgasm (known as retrograde ejaculation) and this can cause pain and other medical complications.  So, you should probably just be happy that you can ejaculate normally.  As for cleaning up the mess, just ejaculate in some Kleenex that you can throw away, or ejaculate in the shower or into a toilet.

Q: ​I grew up in a very religious household where I was taught that masturbation is a sin and that we should wait until marriage until sex. As a result I'm still a virgin and I don't masturbate. However, I do have frequent wet dreams. I have wet dreams at least twice a week and I feel embarrassed having to wash my sheets and boxers all the time. Is there anything I can do to reduce the frequency of wet dreams (without resorting to masturbation)?

A: Wet dreams are a result of having a build-up of semen and sperm in your body.  There is really only way to alleviate that build-up, which is to ejaculate regularly.  If you're not having sex, then masturbation is the only way to do this.  There really isn't any way to get around this.  But, masturbation is a natural and healthy thing that all people should be doing anyway.  I suggest checking out this short video on the benefits of masturbation.

However, I understand that this may go against your religious beliefs, so it's up to you.  But, there really is no other way to prevent wet dreams. 

Q: I masturbate 10 times a day.  I was wondering if that is obsessive behavior. ​

A: As to whether someone is masturbating too much, it doesn't really come down to how many times someone masturbates in a day.  The important thing to consider is whether the level of masturbation is causing significant problems in a person's life.  If someone's drive to masturbate is so frequent and overwhelming that it causes them to be impaired in their relationships, school/work, and personal happiness, then it is a problem.

I would say that if you're masturbating 10 times a day, then it's likely you do have a problem.  I can't imagine how someone could masturbate that much and not have it negatively impact their life.  At the very least, I would imagine that this is on your mind throughout the day, making it difficult to concentrate on and enjoy other aspects of your life.  If this is the case, I would recommend seeing a counselor.  You can attain counseling at UC Merced by visiting counseling.ucmerced.edu.

Q: ​Is it typical for your significant other to masturbate after sex?

A: Given that everyone is built differently and has their own sexual quarks, it's likely that most of us engage in some types of "non-typical" sexual behavior.  But, perhaps what you meant was, "Is it unhealthy or problematic for your significant other to masterbate after sex?"  In that case, the best way to answer this question is to talk about it with your significant other.  Why do they do this?  Do *they* think it's problematic?

For some people, masterbating is the easiest and most reliable way for them to reach orgasm.  If this is the case, perhaps your partner masturbates during or after sex just because it's the easiest way for them to cum.  Your partner may very well not see this as a problem and may have done this with all of their previous sexual partners as well.

If your partner does see it as a problem, then perhaps you could explore other ways of stimulating each other during sex.  There may be a particular way that your partner likes to be stimulated, which makes it easier for them to orgasm.  Again, this is something you'll only know if you have a conversation with them about it.  Being able to communicate with your partner about sex is a big part of having a mature, healthy sexual relationship.  It may not always be easy, but it's almost always beneficial.

A: Absolutely nothing bad will happen to you if you masturbate a few times a day.  If you're masturbating 2 - 3 times a day, then you're clearly producing enough semen/sperm and are sexually aroused enough to do so, so it's perfectly safe and healthy.  Basically, the worst that will happen if you masturbate "too much" is that your genitals will get sore and you might feel some soreness in your lower abdomen (from over-taxing your internal sexual organs, such as your testicles, prostate and sexual glands).  But, this isn't dangerous and you'll likely feel as good as new the next day.  Masturbating multiple times a day is pretty normal for a young man.  It's also not abnormal for older men or women to do as well.

The only time when masturbating can become unhealthy is if your masturbation habits begin to significantly impair your life.  This is very rare, but some people with OCD or addictive-type disorders can sometimes become "addicted" to masturbation.  This is where someone compulsively masturbating for many hours a day and often never feels satisfied.  Obviously, this would cause significant impairment in school/work, relationships and general happiness.  But, if you're enjoying masturbation and it's not impairing your life, don't worry about it and masturbate as much as you like!

By the way, masturbating regularly is very healthy for women and men.  If you'd like to learn more, check out the following links.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/14/reasons-women-should-masturbate_n_6172092.htm

http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/5-reasons-you-should-masturbate-tonight

A: One of the less expensive but very popular sex toys for men are pocket vaginas (commonly known as “fleshlights”).  This is a tool he can use to masturbate with that feels similar to a vagina.  They also make ones that are more similar to the feel of a mouth.
 
You can find these just about anywhere online, but I’ve provided a link to some websites selling “Sex Toys for Men.”  The only toys I wouldn’t recommend are penis pumps, which are dangerous and don’t increase penis size as advertised.
 
Link: http://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/mens-adult-sex-toys-ch-954.aspx
 
Link: https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/male-sex-toys/
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A: Like anything, it gets easier (and more comfortable) with practice.  I suggest setting a specific time each week to masturbate and to try something a little different each time you do it.  For example, you can start out by thinking about different fantasies while you masturbate.  You can also do it in different settings, such as in your bed or while taking a bath.  You can try different toys while masturbating and/or view different types of pornography or erotic fiction. 
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Don’t worry if you’re not “in the mood” right away.  Sometimes it can take a while to get comfortable enough with your body to be able to relax and enjoy it.  If you feel like you’re getting self-conscious or frustrated, just try to relax.  You only need to masturbate for 10 minutes that week and, if you don’t like it, you can just stop at that point.  Then try again next week.  I’ll bet that after a few sessions, you’ll start to relax, enjoy it more and you may even start to want  to do it more often.  Just remember, regular masturbation is great for your health and the better you get at pleasuring yourself, the more you’ll enjoy your time with others as well!

A: There is a widespread myth that masturbating is unhealthy and that masturbating too much can make a person sick.  However, there is no scientific evidence to back this up.  In fact, studies show that regular masturbation is a very healthy thing to do.  It can lower stress, regulate blood pressure, and decrease one’s likelihood of getting certain types of cancer (e.g., prostate, cervical).  It can also greatly alleviate menstrual cramping in women. 

Check out this video on the health advantages of masturbation: https://youtu.be/GU3JqoUDkjA
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Once in a while you’ll hear about someone who “died of masturbation.”  There was one such story in 2012 that made its way across the internet about a 23-year-old medical student who supposedly died from donating to a sperm bank too many times.  This story ended up being a hoax created by the family so that they could sue a sperm bank (they lost the lawsuit, by the way).  These stories most often turn out to be a hoax or simply a misunderstanding of how someone actually died.  To my knowledge, there hasn’t been one credible case of anyone ever dying from masturbating.