Q: I haven't had sex in over a year, and often I do feel horny but I never actually feel sexually attracted to anyone (I don't think I ever really have) and I'm not sure what that means. I mean I'm not sexually repulsed, but I don't really enjoy it all that much, but sometimes I have urges.
A: There's nothing wrong or abnormal about having periods in your life when you're not particularly attracted to anyone. Some people will go through "dry spells" where they either don't meet someone who sexually attracts them or just aren't feeling "in the mood" enough to look for someone to have sex with. This type of temporary lull in sexual arousal can be due to many thing: Stress, recent lifestyle changes, fluctuations in hormones, taking anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medications, etc. In most cases, this tends to pass in a few months. If it doesn't pass and your lack of sexual desire bothers you, you may want to talk to a doctor or therapist about it.
Since you mentioned that it's possible you've never been sexually attracted to other people, it may be that you are "asexual" or "graysexual" (also referred to as an "ace"). These are individuals who, for whatever reason, simply lack an interest in sex. Many of these individuals still feel sexual urges and masturbate from time-to-time, and may even want to be romantically involved with other people, but don't have an interest in actually having sex with other people. This is a pretty new "sexual orientation" and not much is known yet about asexuality. However, it is becoming a more common sexual identity. Semi-recent studies conducted in the U.S. and U.K. suggest that 0.5 - 1.5% of people are asexual. However, a poll at UC Merced found that 8% of students surveyed described themselves as "asexual" (data not publicly available), indicating this is likely a more common sexual identity among younger people.
There is a growing community of support for asexuals online and at school. For example, they are one of the recognized groups in our UC Merced Lamba Alliance club. In fact, they hosted an Asexuality Awareness Week in 2015. There's no easy way to tell if you are asexual or not, but perhaps it's something you could look into.
For more information on asexuality, please check out the following sources...
A recent article about asexuality and how it fits with other sexual orientations: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/19/asexual-relationships_n_3362206.html
An article about how to decide if you are asexual/graysexual:
The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network:
Answers provided by Dr. Ross Avilla
Dr. Ross Avilla has been teaching Human Sexuality since 2013 and has a PhD in psychology from UC Davis. Dr. Avilla is not a clinician and all information and advice offered on this website is for educational purposes only.