Q: My girlfriend doesn't moan or make noise whatsoever during intercourse she just breathes heavily. Is this normal?
A: This can be completely normal. Some people are naturally quiet during sex. For many people, there is some level of concentration that is needed in order to enjoy sex and reach orgasm. So she may just be quietly concentrating on how her body feels in the moment.
It could also be that she's not reaching orgasm during sex. The best way to figure that out is to have an open conversation with her about it. It can be difficult to have these sort of conversations, but if you communicate that you're interested in her pleasure and want to make this the best experience it can be for the both of you, hopefully that will help her to be honest. It could very well be the case that she's already enjoying sex with you and experiencing orgasms, but is quiet when she does so. You'll just have to ask her to find out.
Q: Can prostate stimulation lead to orgasm, as well as ejaculation?
A: Stimulating the prostate can, for some men, lead to orgasm and ejaculation. This is sometimes referred to as "prostate milking." This occurs because tissue in the prostate activates the same nerves as the glans (head) of the penis. For many men, stimulating the prostate can intensify sexual pleasure during sex or masturbation.
The easiest way to do this is to insert a finger into the rectum. The prostate is about 1 - 2 inches inside, on the front wall of the rectum. An easy way to locate it is to point the finger toward the belly button. The prostate will feel like a slightly stiff and wrinkled bump on an otherwise smooth surface. The prostate enlarges when a man is aroused, so this makes it easier to locate.
Q: Is it typical for your significant other to masturbate after sex?
A: Given that everyone is built differently and has their own sexual quarks, it's likely that most of us engage in some types of "non-typical" sexual behavior. But, perhaps what you meant was, "Is it unhealthy or problematic for your significant other to masterbate after sex?" In that case, the best way to answer this question is to talk about it with your significant other. Why do they do this? Do *they* think it's problematic?
For some people, masterbating is the easiest and most reliable way for them to reach orgasm. If this is the case, perhaps your partner masturbates during or after sex just because it's the easiest way for them to cum. Your partner may very well not see this as a problem and may have done this with all of their previous sexual partners as well.
If your partner does see it as a problem, then perhaps you could explore other ways of stimulating each other during sex. There may be a particular way that your partner likes to be stimulated, which makes it easier for them to orgasm. Again, this is something you'll only know if you have a conversation with them about it. Being able to communicate with your partner about sex is a big part of having a mature, healthy sexual relationship. It may not always be easy, but it's almost always beneficial.
Q: Does starting birth control cause you to gain any weight?
A: Since birth control regulates a woman's hormones, such as estrogen and progesterone, it can have some side-effects. However, recent studies have found that weight gain resulting from birth control is quite rare and most often results in only gaining 1 - 2 pounds of water weight.
Any negative symptoms from birth control are most often temporary (lasting 2 - 3 months) and dissipate once the body gets used to these new hormone levels. Some other side-effects of taking birth control can be issues with nausea, headaches, breast tenderness and mood changes. If a woman experiences these negative symptoms for more than 3 months while taking birth control, she should switch to a different brand or type of birth control. This most often fixes the problem.
Beyond these short-term symptoms, birth control is extremely safe and doesn't cause any problems with fertility. It's also been shown to decrease acne, menstrual cramping and PMS, and reduce a woman's chance of getting cervical and uterine cancers down the road. The only woman who may want to avoid taking birth control are women who are older than 35 and smoke regularly.
Q: Will frequent use of vibrators desensitize future feeling/pleasure?
A: Some people worry that using a vibrator will be "so good" or so pleasurable that you won't be able to go back to not using a vibrator for sexual stimulation (as shown in this scene for "Sex in the City"). However, research shows that using vibrators and other sex toys that enliven sexual stimulation actually help to train the body and nervous system to experience pleasure more easily in the future. It's like working out a muscle or training the body to perform a certain skill, it gets better and easier with practice. So, if using a vibrator is pleasurable to you, keep doing it! It will actually increase your sensitivity and sexual pleasure in future sexual encounters, even if you aren't using a vibrator during sex.
In general, vibrators are a wonderful thing for the sex lives of women. Regular use of vibrators has been shown to increase sexual pleasure, increase vaginal wetness during sex, ease menstrual cramping in women, and even help cure vaginismus (pain experienced during vaginal penetration). It is one of the best tools to improve a woman's sex life. And, of course, men can also benefit from vibrators if they enjoy anal stimulation.
For more information on the benefits of vibrators, check out the following links:
Answers provided by Dr. Ross Avilla
Dr. Ross Avilla has been teaching Human Sexuality since 2013 and has a PhD in psychology from UC Davis. Dr. Avilla is not a clinician and all information and advice offered on this website is for educational purposes only.