Q: There have been two times during sex where I "queef". I don't know why and I don't know how to prevent it (its really embarrassing). Any tips?
A: Queefing (air passing out of the vagina during sex) is totally normal and is caused by air being pressed into the vagina by the penis. Some positions (such as doggystyle) tend to send more air into the vagina, because the penis pulls out of the vagina more often while having sex. If the penis pulls out completely and then reenters, it's more likely to push air into the vagina. This isn't dangerous in anyway, but, as you mentioned it can be embarrassing when the air noisily escapes the vagina. There's not much that can be done about queefing except to laugh it off. It happens to every woman. It also happens to women and men when they have anal sex, but in that case it's just called farting.
Here's a good clip about queefing from Dr. Sue, who used to have a late-night talk show about sex.
Q: Will birth control (the daily pill) hurt my chances of getting pregnant in the future when I decide to have children?
A: Thankfully, studies show that being on oral contraceptives or any type of hormone-based birth control does not hinder a woman's chances of becoming pregnant later on in life. Birth control simply keeps a woman's estrogen and progesterone levels in a balanced state, so that they cannot fluctuate. This stops a woman from ovulating and building up an endometrium (the lining of the uterus that allows a fertilized egg to implant), because these processes are started by spikes in estrogen and progesterone.
Birth control has actually been shown to have many health benefits for women, such as lessened menstrual cramping, PMS symptoms, acne, and a decreased chance of uterine cancers later in life. The only known health risk of taking birth control is blood clotting, which is only a risk-factor for women who are age 35 or older and who smoke regularly. So, if you're not an older woman who smokes, there's nothing to worry about when taking birth control.
Q: Pooing during anal?
A: I do love the brevity of this question. I imagine the question asker is concerned about accidentally defecating during anal sex. This is a common fear for people just starting to have anal sex. Thankfully, when you penetrate the anus, you're really just penetrating the rectum, which typically doesn't have any fecal matter in it. Feces (if any is present) is much further back in the colon. There is a natural bend to the rectum, so that a penis, finger or anything else penetrating the anus is very unlikely to come into contact with the colon.
That being said, it's always a good idea to go to the bathroom before having anal sex. Fecal matter can enter the rectum if you *really* have to go; and having to poop when you're having anal sex is bound to be less than enjoyable. But, if you've recently gone to the bathroom, there's nothing to worry about.
Q: Would it be possible and safe to stimulate my boyfriend's nipples enough until he produces lactation?
A: It would be fairly difficult to stimulate a man's nipples enough for them to begin lactating, but it is possible. If you want to cause your boyfriend to lactate, this can be done by having him use a breast pump on his nipples a few times a day for a few weeks. This type of stimulation can cause a person's body to product prolactin, which can cause breast lactations. This process is easier to bring about in women, given that women produce more prolactin than men naturally, but it is theoretically possible for men to do the same.
You can find an account of one male reporters journey to produce breast milk here. He wasn't successful, but he gives good tips on how a many could be. The Young Turks have covered a similar story here. You can also find more information on male lactation here.
What type protection is necessary for oral sex?
A: Most sex ed instructors tell people to use condoms or dental dams when having oral sex. For those who don't know, dental dams are thin squares of latex or polyurethane (the same materials that are used to make condoms) and can be used to drape over the penis or vulva while having oral sex. Condoms and dental dams can help prevent the spread of some sexually transmitted infections. However, the truth is that almost no one uses these when having sex. It's rare that dental dams can even be found at sex shops.
For the most part, oral sex is relatively safe. There is certainly no way to get pregnant from having oral sex and there aren't many STIs that can be transmitted through oral sex either. The biggest risk is contracting oral herpes (herpes simplex 1). However, a majority of people contract oral herpes during the lifetime and it's not dangerous. Oral herpes tends to results in only a few cold sore outbreaks during a person's life. Most people with oral herpes don't show any symptoms at all. One can get some other STIs through oral sex, such as gonorrhea or HPV, but these cases are fairly rare. Also, a very easy way to prevent getting HPV by any means is to get vaccinated for it.
In short, don't worry too much about contracting STIs when having oral sex. It's a good idea to get to know your sex partner beforehand, so that you can know if you're particularly at risk of contracting an STI from them. But, oral sex is generally a very safe way to have sex.
Q: How can I make sex more interesting?
A: This is a very big question, because there are a million ways to make sex more interesting! You could try role-playing, sexy clothing, erotic dancing, new sex positions, bondage, power play, threesomes, or anal play, sex games, just to name a few! Of course, what really matters is that you make it interesting to you and your partner. The best sex is adventurous and consensual, so make sure to talk about this with your partner. I'll bet they have some ideas they'd love to try out. And it's fun to brain-storm about sexy things you both can do.
If you need more ideas, here are some helpful links:
Answers provided by Dr. Ross Avilla
Dr. Ross Avilla has been teaching Human Sexuality since 2013 and has a PhD in psychology from UC Davis. Dr. Avilla is not a clinician and all information and advice offered on this website is for educational purposes only.